Christ has died… Christ has risen…(Jesus Christ!) and the Easter Bunny finds snarky and the following nitrous-oxide-funny:

March 24 2008 11:57 a.m. Kuala Lumpur

On “I vs Big Bayaw”

6 Comments

1. Blogger False Prophetess posted at January 9, 2008 8:27 PM
   "...If they feel stupid, problema nila yan! Alangan naman you pretend na tanga ka para ang mga taong ganyan feeling henyo?!”--I liked this line.
   
   I didn't read everything, but I think nakuha ko kung ano tungkol yung post. Alam mo, if Mia (from five years ago) get to read this entry, baka may gripo ka na sa tagiliran. He he. And that last line? With your name???? Full name?? Helloo??? Tatamaan ka ng kidlat ni Mr. Google.
   
   In line with the topic, ang weird ng mga tao noh? If you spill your own thoughts on your own blog, people start accusing you as "pa-intellectual" and such. Ano ba, kasalanan mo bang matalino ka? Bawal na bang maging "high-brow" sa sarili mong blog? Pucha, ako nga, sa pagsusulat lang ako nagkaka-kilay eh. Totoo he he.
   
   There's this one psycho nga who keeps on insisting (and it's been what, EIGHT YEARS, na ginagawa niya ito--almost half of those years directed sa blog ko) na "the more you rub it in that you're intelligent goes to show that you're not so smart to begin with." Something to that effect. The thing is, I never used that adjective (yung intelligent ek) to describe myself. I just happen to know some things that probably this person didn't know about despite the huge age gap between us, which is 7 or 8 years ("it" being older). And it's definitely not my fault to talk or write about things that I happen to know about. Alangan naman mag blog ako about showbiz chismis when I don't know shit about it. Much better, wag nalang sana niya basahin ang blog ko if she feels degraded by it.
   
   Oo nga naman, kelangan ko bang mag pretend na bobo o tanga ako?
   
   I'll end this comment with a quote from this book that I'm currently reading (hindi ko nalang babanggitin kung anong libro at baka masabihan pa akong mayabang o pa-intellectual):
   
   "do you know the hallmark of the second-rater? It's resentment of another man's achievement."
   
   Yebah.

2. Blogger Katrina posted at January 10, 2008 4:19 AM
   Weee! I got quoted! Wala akong pakialam sa issue. Basta quoted ako. Hahahahahaha!!!
   
   Tsk. They are poets, after all. Scary, scary, scary bunch. I meant that in a bad way, but it can be good, I suppose. *farting noise from nose because of holding laughter in*
   
   I miss our angry rants marathons. Do one on takatak boys next. Oooh, or one the deplorable state of organized religion. Sweet.
   
   Hachacha.

3. Blogger Twiggy posted at January 10, 2008 6:18 PM
   You bitch. Najombag ako ng batuta mo. Hehe.

4. Blogger tazzy posted at February 11, 2008 5:49 PM
   

Mia, you are smart; I give you that. Still I think that it’s smarter, not just out of good breeding but common decency, to not make other people feel “not smart.” To begin with, you shouldn’t call other people names. I get that you have pet names for the people close to you, like how “the cat” is Joey and “basher” is Basha. But there are some whom you didn’t even know well enough to deserve what you call them. That’s just bullying.

The Easter Bunny thought (something like):

“Salamat po”.

“Let’s make a list of who got called by certain names instead, not called names. There were several Satans, Fuckers… Lexical gymnastics and syntax, people, syntax.”

“According to Genetics, we are all mongrels or a virus.”

Second, I don’t think you have a right to criticize, say, Gelo’s work, when you can't cough up anything better yourself. A Palanca winner vs. a mere short story contributor to that speculative fiction THINGIE?? Don’t dare belittle that achievement of his when you yourself dream of winning a Palanca. I remember you [The Easter Bunny O.C.-edit: either use “when you were” or “your”(possessive form of pronoun is used before a gerund)] telling me you stopped teaching to concentrate on your writing [see?correct!] in time for the Palanca last year. What became of it? (At kung talagang matalino ka, bakit doon ka lang nagturo? Buti pa si Katz, maganda na, maganda rin ang ugali, sa Ateneo nagturo. Naku, I bet you’re gunna [from the dictionary where “thunk” for “thought” is used] say it has something to do with her dad!)

The Easter bunny thought (something like):

Ayan na nga ba eh. Naku, na-offend ang ‘I love you Jello’ fans club. Hayaan mo Diday/Dodong: I laughed in glee when he said last March 17 in Mag:net Katipunan (Quezon Cityyyyyyy Philippines!) that poetry can be useful so he read a list, alphabetically arranged, of all the plumbers (tubero ba) with their matching contact numbers in Esteban Abada starting from “Anonymous”.

Not useful [I don’t live in Esteban Abada].

As for what he read being poetry, well, he said so.

Speculative Fiction THINGIE?? Naku po. Goat-gone-suicidal-so-go-by-the-water-theory is now in the realm of reality. Good luck.

Palanca: I was reminded of this speech when I was 12, “I dream of a countryside that is vibrant, progressive and a home. A comfortable home in step with the 21^st century. I thank you all.” [Winning smile and bow]

Then there’s this classic line, “Masama bang mangarap? Libre ang pangarap. Libreng mangarap.” [Sniff, sniff]

And I talked to you (whoever you are)? Hmmm…I don’t remember.

Obviously Diday/Dodong, di nanalo. [C’mon let’s all sing Soy un pendidor, I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me *scratch-scratch-scratch*yo.]

Teaching: Mabuhay ang mga guro! Lalo na po yun binabayaran ng 70 pesos/hour doon sa “doon lang”. I think I want to be Mr. Keating from the Dead Poets Society. YAWP, why don’t you. And my Ma says that ideology doesn’t really pay, you know.

Uy, huwag naman “lang” ganun. Baka mainsulto yun mga students ko eh. Mga war-freak pa naman ang karamihan. Ang yabang ng dating talaga ng “lang”.Taga UP ka rin? Ateneo? La Salle? Miriam or UST? Nakakainsulto rin sa mga gurong di nagtututro sa mga paaralan mentioned eh.

Si Katz, maganda talaga yan, maganda ang ugali, matalino, sexy, ganda ng kutis, wag mo lang galitin masyado, friend ko eh. Sana nga naging lesbo lovers kami. In love kasi talaga ko sa kanya. [Again, pangarap…na sana magkatotoo before or by the end of the year kasi pupuntahan ko siya sa Stateside, haharanahan, liligawan, at pag di nadala sa santong dasalan o paspaspasan ay dadaanin sa atiban! AWOO!]

This is just so wrong in so many levels I’m…I’m…dying from nitrous oxide poisoning.

Third, reread my first sentence. Matalino ka na, sobrang binibigay ko na sa ‘yo ‘yan. Kaya please lang, huwag mo ng angkinin na maganda ka rin! Because you are definitely far from being pretty. And that’s not bullying on my part, that is fact. More so, it is definitely something you have to accept and force down your throat because your so-fiction stories of friends thinking your “artistahin” and male friends getting hard ons from hugging you are just hilarious. Annoying. And insulting to them. Meron pa about how someone was supposedly trying to look down your cleavage. Pwede ba?! You haven’t got any, just pimples masquerading as boobs! You only look interesting because of your short hair and glasses. Take those out of the picture and you’d look no different from those girls from third-world countries clinging to their foreigners. (I bet you get A LOT of indecent proposals from hey-joes.)
Stick to non-fiction. And don’t threaten me that you're going to wear shorts! Gad! Pwede ba? Talo mo pa Cebu Pacific sa dami ng piso-piso ng legs mo!!

And the Easter Bunny thought ( something like):

Again, “Salamat po.”

Hilarious, yes. Annoying, sometimes. Insulting--- to those slapped down and just couldn’t get and take it that I didn’t want to fuck them kasi kahit lasingin ako huwit talaga type. UNGGA: which translates to their screaming at the top of their lungs that I’m a slutbagho just because I said “No” and No means NO.

Long-distance call to the States: “Mommyyyyy! Daddyyyyy! Di raw ako maganda! Sabi niyo maganda ko di ba? Waaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Looks at reflection then long-distance call to the world: “Maganda ko, di ba? Di ba? Waaaaaaa!

Looks at boobs then long-distance call to the world: “World Cup nga ang cup size ng bra ko, di ba? Di ba? Waaaaaaaa!”

Looks at legs then long-distance call to the world: “Di naman World Bank ang legs ko, di ba? Di ba? Waaaaaaaaaaa!”

For the record, I don’t get passes/indecent proposals from hey-joes or any hey-tom, hey-dick, hey-harry, hoy-jose, hoy-juan, hoy-pedro…because I’m an ugly man kasi eh. Ya, sad but true. Waaaaaaaaaaa! [But kung si hey-Robert Redford puede, puedeng puede!]

Shet, ang haba kasi ng hair ng mga lola mo sa third-world-countries eh.

Yes Ma’am/Sir, eto na po, nagsusulat na po ng nonfiction…

Ayayay, the third is a descent into spittle-gibberish. Oh the pain, the anger, the (absence of) laughter---

Dark Side of the Force na ito.

On the Other Side of the Force:

5. Blogger Katrina posted at February 12, 2008 12:09 AM
   Oh. My. Gawd. What the - ?

And this is some Jedi-mind…

6. Blogger banzai cat posted at March 23, 2008 10:51 PM
   (Because I had nothing better to do, I decided to dissect this fascinating insect of a comment. Probably a dung beetle of some kind...)
   
   Interesting to see how some people can post here and still don't get the motherfucking idea that if you're going to say something, come out and say it rather than hide under a nom du guerre. Idiot. But that's irony for you. (Warning! Big words in the text so check your dictionary as I have no compunction to slow down to explain what they mean.)
   
   As for bullying, isn't that what you're also doing? Oh wait, that's just your opinion, which is what blogging is all about. Which is what these posts are all about, yes? So who gives you the right to tell her what to say or post? Oh yes, a total wuss-head who thinks that "decency' and "good breeding” should prevail over freedom of speech. And once more the point of this post is proven right. Excuse me while I break my upraised little finger while gagging over the idea of "decency" and "good breeding." Tea, anyone? No wonder the Victorian English were sexually repressed.
   
   Likewise, bullying is only if persons concerned are affected, i.e. affected ka, yes? Poor you, reaching out for anger when a neuron tap-dancing in your brain to generate some thought would do much better. Still, I do think that it's not bullying what you're doing but rather cowardice. Plain and simple gutlessness.
   
   As for this Gelo person, ah, the argument to authority. Just because a person has won the Palanca, that means one cannot argue with that person. Oh bow to the gods, man, else get hit by Zeus' lightning. Gah. Try again.
   
   And if you were reading the posts rather than being so narrow-minded to read what you only wanted to read, then you'd know that it wasn't the Palanca she was targeting. Look up 'comprehension' in the dictionary and try applying it to your reading, please.
   
   (Moreover, I sincerely hope that I misunderstood your flighty-head declaration of "teaching in Ateneo means good-looking" because hell, that means not only are you stupid, but also shallow. But then again, I'm an optimist.)
   
   And its nice to know that since you've insulted her speculative fiction stories, you basically dumped on a whole group of writers out there. Me, I laugh at this idea because that means some idiot of a writer of a certain kind of writing thinks that only they have the right to write in the Philippines. And yes, I've met one or two.
   
   As for Katz, obviously she already said her piece so I'm curious why such a nobody like you would deign to actually speak for her. Are you her spokesperson? Or are you-- *gasp* -- bullying her by putting words in her mouth? Oh bravo, you little hypocritical twat.
   
   (Digression: It's nice to know that you have the pretension of using the English language when you can't even distinguish "your" and "you're". I admire a person who brings a knife to a gunfight. Try again.)
   
   Let me see, what else...
   
   Ah, yes the argument ad hominem. The last recourse of the brainless and the thoughtless. You do know the whole point of raising arguments is to create discussions, right? (Which is the whole point of this post. Gah, why do I even bother reminding...) Of course the presumption here is that there is some logic to your argument. So it's nice to see you come out here to show how intellectually butt-naked you really are. Really brave of you, I think.
   
   To conclude: Try again when you really have something say.
   
   P.S. Ah, now I understand why you don't want to show your blog profile. "This blog does not allow anonymous comments." Great to see you show some effort in trying to post a comment here; too bad it's not an 'intelligent' comment.

---

You won a response: the “You” is now officially (in)famous and attested, as requested. Looking for last minute holes you can hide in? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

Sound on, Sound off, Write on. Or (really) one is always free and welcome to laugh it all off or FUCK OFF.

And Hi and Thank You to J, Dirty Boy, April, the Insomniac and the Lit and MFA CNF students of La Salle (Taft)! Welcome to my space!

Katz, I can hear your evil laugh from here. Still researching the takatak boys: ang lakas mga uminom eh, mamumulubi ako, pero ayos lang kasi libre na yosi ko. [Selena, tama na ang tawa or yun “hay naku” mo. Ang hika mo.]

Please come and visit SEGUNDA MANO, an exhibit of recent works by Steph Lopez@ Boston Gallery, Boston cor. Lantana Sts., Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines. Exhibit runs from March 29- April 25 2008. You’ll see Pocahontas or Lilo [without Stitch because it’s out of the planet] in person. Promise.

Thanks for reading the blog!

Keluar Happy Easter Bunny!