Sexy-Text-Sexchange on a Sunday: On FHM Erotica

May 18, 2008 11:45 am

Adam at 10:13 am

Read bits of the FHM erotica issue. Walang marunong manlandi. Kung ang magasin na’to ang sampler ng inner sexual landscape ng panahon natin, well, tangina lang.

I at 10: 29 am

Well, I only read Joey’s so far (and scanned i.e. speed-read the rest) & I trashed it to him last night. He agreed naman; out of his comfort zone. Also read De Leon’s pala: didn’t do anything for me especially to encourage me to see the orgasmic beauty in giving blowjobs. Ugh.

I at 10:30 am

Mas ok pa yun ‘sucking cock is a delicate thing’ ni Danton Remoto Bading eh.

Adam at 10:34 am

Ang long and short lang naman ay walang kalibuglibog and pagsususlat na tinipon para sa magasin na yan. Nangibabaw lang ay ang genreing na ginawa and nothing else. Walang kahit anong fun or sexy or wrong sa mga ginawa, things I equate with sex. Kung ang sex para sa kanila ay panghimasmas ng gumamela o paraan para mabuntis o pagiging madaldal o pagiging sterile at correct sa lenggwahe, well, success ang writers dito.

I at 10:37 am

Oh, do you blog that or I will? Blog mo tangna. Project entry ko nga lahat ng published stories ni Joey titirahin ko.

Adam at 10:39 am

Hahaha. Blogging ba ang next frontier talaga ng matino at mabilis na critical discourse ngayon?

I at 10:40 am

Yep. Mention names coz everyone’s google-yahoo-techno-askjeeves-vain.

Adam at 10:41 am

Pero talaga kahit ke Anna at ke Carl, wala. Natawa ko sa ilang bits nung ke Carl, though. Pero mas nangibabaw yung personality nung may-akda kesa sa personality nung akda.

I at 10:43 am

Yan ang ultimate problem ni carldude javier. Ever since 2001. He can’t suspend the disbelief of reader sa fiction niya. It’s all really CNF sa kanya eh. Lakas ng voice niya sa text eh.

He slips. PeroI find him good ha? And not because he’s my friend.

Adam at 10:43 am

Para sa’kin dapat sexy ang erotica, in the same way na dapat smart ang scifi, na scary ang horror, na nakakakilig ang romance, kahit sa purely superficial level lang, which for me is via language. Pero dito lahat nagpakaliterary lang, and literary here ain’t sexy.

I at 10:44 am

I concur. Staid nga! Staid! Di ako nalibugan kahit cerebral man lamang!

Adam at 10:46 am

Sa erotica, ang fulcrum ng lahat ay dapat nasa sex. Sex dapat ang magpapatakbo ng kuwento. At bakit ba nagbabasa ang tao ng erotica? I read it para maturn-on at magjakol o mangantot, not to sip tea and munch on smores. It should play with our fantasies and desires, outlet siya for that, to enjoy sex without the consequences.

I at 10:47 am.

Hahahaha! Ayan , ibloblog ko sexy-text-sexchange natin.

Adam at 10:49 am

Kaya hindi pumapatok sa akin ang lahat na andito sa magasin, kasi overwrought at intellectualized ang sex dito, reduced to verbal mannerisms and tics and genre tropes, at wow, me consequence.

Adam at 10:50 am

It’s really all very elementary.

Adam at 10:50 am

But I really enjoyed the pictures.

Adam at 10:51 am

Hahahaha! Go!

I at 10:52 am

Kilala ko yun may mga stars na tattoo. Kaya nga couldn’t read more eh. Tangna nakilala ko yan nene pa tapos ganyan na. hot.

Adam at 10:52 am

Who’re they trying to turn on ba? Butch Dalisay?

I at 10:52 am

Bwahahahaha!

Adam at 10:54 am

Wow. Alam mo, yun girl na yun yung type ko, kasi angsnoot lang ng dating sa interview, at, haha, ang ganda ng tattoos.

Adam at 10:54 am

Si “Ad Astra”!

I at 10:57 am

We call her…Her real name’s…Half…Her dad owns…She writes too, loves books, …nowadays. Sssh, ok?

Adam at 10:59 am

Pacool pa ang pagkakasulat ng karamihan, padifferent yun iba, but really, it’s just boring and distracting from the business that they should be doing, the reason why people buy this magazine. I mean, my brother won’t buy it kasi it has a loquacious monologue about blowjobs na it turns out ay sulat papa sa speculation daughter.

I at 10:59 am

Well, yeah, your brother would probably just sigh “crap” because it’s not getting him up and IF he doesn’t coolly deconstruct it. I wish he would hold a class again on how to do blowjobs over beer so that some girls and gays would know how. Yeah, rule number one (with the bottle as instructional material): “No teeth”.

Have pics w her when the tattoos weren’t there yet. Feline even then. Wanna see?

Adam at 11:00 am

Oh yes. Wanna see.

Adam at 11:27 am

So ikaw ba magbablog about it?

I at 11:27 am

Together! Blog abt it your way&I’ll blog mine. Hahahaha.

Adam at 11:29 am

Blog ka muna about it, tas magfofollow-up ako, haha. Type in my comments?

I (switching to private line time) at 11:23 am

Of course! That’s the whole point of the entry! Hahahaha.

Adam at 11:32 am

And Karl (de Mesa) describes really the most awful-looking girls in gothdom.

I at 11:25 am

Hahahahaha! Ayan, di ko na talaga babasahin the rest. Hahahahaha!

Adam at 11:32 am

Nakakatawa yung pull-quotes!

Adam at 11:33 am

I would like to be impregnated by someone smart and driven.

I at 11:26 am

Bwahahahahaha! I would like to volunteer.

Adam at 11:35 am

Talk was unavoidable in the call center world.

Adam at 11:36 am

Her delicate oval face is the sum of a pouting mouth and lacquer moist eyes. It resembles the rest of her: a flower stem spine, tapering fingers, a swan’s neck.

Adam at 11:36 am

Man, that kind of thing was funny in IDLE HANDS and EVIL DEAD, but here it just ain’t right.

Adam at 11:37 am

There was some good news: she was all right, they didn’t need to scrape or vacuum, everything that was supposed to leave had left.

I at 11:29 am

Hahahahahahaha! Putang ina, mamamatay ako sa kakatawa sa yo! Per story dapat may comment/parody ha? Para review!

Adam at 11:39 am

Pero di ba? Sexy pullquotes! Gaganahan ka talaga magbasa!

I at 11:34 am

Gaganahan akong tumawa! Tawa na lang kung alang libog!Puede! Puedeng puede!

Adam at 11:42 am

Favourite pull-quote: Iisa lang ang ibig sabihin, isa akong manunulat na walang binatbat. Walang may interes magbasa ng mga sinusulat ko.

Adam at 11:44 am

So symbolic pala ang pagattach ng condom sa magasin. Parang tipong Here, don’t enjoy sex. Numb your penis with latex.

I at 11:37 am

Hahahahahaha! Tama na! Eto tinatype ko na! Hahahahahaha!

Adam at 11:46 am

Hahahaha. Ewan!

Adam at 11:49 am

Symbolic rin yun ads!

Adam at 11:58 am

Kung hindi pala yun ang comfort room ni Joey, bakit siya kinuha para magsulat?

I at 11:53 am

Award winning na eh kaya malamang kinuha. Kebs ko sa requirement na yan pero I supported him para write outside his comfort zone. Twas good for him. Walang kokontra. May agenda/purpose yan.

Adam at 12:05 pm

Alam ko me agenda. I’m questioning the editorial decision to ask people who don’t really read erotica to write erotica. Me impression kasing ganun, e. It’s just basically them writing how they usually write, only me sex involved, at puwede kang magsabi ng PENIS at PUSSY.

I at 11: 57 am

Tumpak!

Adam at 12:12 pm

Or maybe they’re not having mindblowing sex? Kung valid ang notion na write what you know, yun ang implications nun.

I at 12:06 pm

Hahahaha! Danger danger. No comment on that coz I refuse to even speculate on that. Hahahahaha! Discussion’s done. Hahahaha!

Adam at 12:15 pm

Hahahaha! Yeah.

Adam at 12:18 pm

The interesting thing about erotica kasi is people who actually write it write stuff that actually turn them on. Yun yung risk sa erotica, e. Yung naked exhibitionist eklat na nangyayari sa manunulat. So when you apply that to this magazine, well, weird nang sobra-sobra ang mga writers na kasama dito.

I at 12: 11 pm

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Well? If you’re above-18 and have (psychologically-priced) 195 pesos that you didn’t steal from your Ma or Dad or financier (or didn’t have to lie to them about where you’d spend it), buy a copy of FHM Erotica and see for yourself! Just tell your god-fearing parents, teachers and friends that it’s for research on literary criticism in Philippine Literature!

Oh, and please direct hate-comments to Adam David’s blog. To find it, ask Mr. Google, Mr. Yahoo, The Technocrati or just Ask Jeeves. Thank you.