Color is not night
It has been home and vacuum.
On Friday night, I stepped out with Joey and met Joel for drinks and talk. He saw the 2008 Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror and he happily cheered and hugged, “I’m so proud of you! Happy for you! Wasak!” Still shy and *whoa* about that, I dissembled like a true Pinoy, smiled, and thanked Manoy.
On Saturday, I was snarling Minnie Mouse who slipped myself a Mickey to be off Dysmeland.
On Sunday, Joey said, “You need some color on you.”
Pale, stepping out of mourning. First daylight exposure on a Sunday afternoon, Xmas gifts shopping among Xmas fiends gladly postponed. Having cappuccino and mango juice and bits of bites and lots of cigarettes in peace by the Shangrila pool with Joey---
I called, “Wanna hang? Let’s catch up while there’s time.”
Selena answered, “Sure…Give me an hour. Just woke. Came in at 8 am…“
I laughed, “Party girl ah!”
Selena laughed and later said, “Wait, what can I take for this headache?”
I asked, “Headache or hangover?”
Selena answered, “What?”
I said, “Paracetamol or Ponstan.”
Selena answered, “Huh?”
Hangover, I said, “Take Ponstan.”
----Selena then came out happy to play (while Charles Tan was too busy being polite online to come out and play).
Catching up, Selena laughed, “Ah… Good cappuccino... You know, men can really be stupid. Hay, naku…”
I laughed, Ah, to be loved tender and true.
Laughing at Twilight
Talking and laughing about many things like---
I gasped, “You went to a dance party and you didn’t invite me?! Waaaaaa!”
Selena-kenkoy apologized, “I’m so stupid.”
I laughed, “No, no, I was in Dysmeland anyway.”
----the movie Twilight.
Selena laughed that in the dance party, there were drunken kids seriously saying Pare, si Edward pumupunta yun sa Embassy, may glitters eh!
We laughed.
Then Selena gasped, “YOU actually watched Twilight?! YOU?!”
I laughed, “Yep.”
Joey teased, “Why? Didn’t you?”
Selena answered, “I did. Some of the cinematography was amazing…”
TREETOPS
I nodded to Selena, “Yeah, I’d like to go there…”
Joey laughed, “…Now it’s about abstinence. Victorian Era was about sex.”
I said, “Yeah, and the movie’s high school shit. It had a moment though…”
HIGH SCHOOL POPULATION: OMG! New Anemic Girl lands Pallid Snooty Hottie!
BELLA: See? That’s why Dating Freaks Secretly is good! See! Everyone’s staring!
EDWARD: Wear shades. I’m going to Hell anyway. So fuck it. Yeah. No. That guy is just looking.
“…I want to read the books to see what the hoopla is all about. Then I can really trash it.”
Selena heckled, “You? Read them? YOU?!”
I laughed again, “Joey’s objecting, too.”
Joey laughed, “Not true, Selena.”
Then he said to me, “You read all Dan Brown to check what it was all about. I read book 1 and 2 of Harry Potter when it came out but everybody was just into it.”
I said, “Precisely. Read Brown, trashed all, refused to watch the movies. PREDICTABLE and a waste of money. And I still refuse to read Harry Potpot…”
I watched the Harry Potter movies though and it brought back the joy of watching childhood movies like Labyrinth, Willow, Neverending Story. I am waiting if Harry would turn into a pothead or if Hermione would turn lesbian somewhere along the series. Well, not really.
Then I laughed, “…Ano ba. Think of it as my reading romance novels. It’s no-brainer fun.”
PREDICTION FOR TWILIGHT: Vampire-Human-Werewolf Love Triangle sprinkled with other villains and family/friends/identity issues now and then into climactic showdown. Order of Things vs. Destiny vs. Free Will conflict: Forbidden Love. Girl becomes Vampire and lives happily in high school love forever. *Aww-Shiver*
I giggled to Selena, “He wants to make a parody of Twilight--”
Ripped off “Twimeow”
There’s a hiding vampire cat named Edward.
There’s a seeking mortal mouse named Bella.
Edward Cat makes Bella Mouse think that she has body odor.
For that, Bella Mouse thinks Edward Cat’s an asshole.
They’re attracted to each other anyway.
Edward Cat looks like he wants to gobble Bella Mouse but he’s playing malabo-to-get.
Bella Mouse does research online to find out what book would help her figure him out.
Edward Cat finally asks Bella Mouse about her research and to SAY IT!
So, Bella Mouse (all asthmatic ano-ba-love-me-anxiety): …You have whiskers… fur… claws… fangs…and…
Happy at 30
Selena said as she looked at my pictures from last year, “You know, you really didn’t look happy.”
I looked at my pictures and saw that I wasn’t.
Apparently, that’s the consensus: I look happy this year.
That Sunday night, I asked Vinti, “How does your brain work? I mean, how does it process things?”
Vinti answered, “I’ve been thinking about that actually…po. Talagang nag-po eh! Teacher ka nga!”
I laughed then asked, “Do I really look so different now? Selena said kanina that I didn’t look happy last year.”
Vinti answered, “Yeah…Very different from when I first met you---”
I answered, “Last time you saw me was January. You heated water for my bath… Then October you said I look happy.”
Vinti nodded, “How did you do it?”
The old man nodded, “This girl can turn around things…”
Smiling, I shook my head, “Yeah, the 200 or so pounds of baggage I was lugging was heavy--”
And I said to Vinti, “You look different, too, you know. Different vibe. Lighter.”
Vinti smiled, “It’s about the heart and soul nowadays.”
I laughed, “Well, well, growing up, huh?”
MEMORY: DALAO-TZU ON TURNING 30, “IT’S THE 29 THAT’S ROCKY. ONCE YOU HIT 30, IT’S GOOD.”
29: Rocky my ass. It was an earthquake.
What a year.
One happy from 29’s year (ripping off my Villain’s) A Freaking Gift to (PUBLISHING PHILIPPINES) Humanity:
On December 9 2007, I attended the 50th Anniversary Conference of the Philippine Center of International PEN held at the National Museum of the Philippines. I like going to conferences and seminars even if I have to pay for or crash them. Fortunately, in this conference we were invited as guests by Dr. Marjorie Evasco.
In the conference, I saw Wendell Capili again who was chatting with Sir Lito Zulueta and I happily hugged and kissed both. After which Sir Lito immediately told Wendell about my naughty “Ex-Sex” essay in the 2007 Di-ma-get-eh Workshop. Sir Lito had said that summer that it was very intelligent but for publication in something like Cosmopolitan. I laughingly answered that I did write it for Cosmopolitan Philippines but I never submitted it (because it would likely make Ma think that I had all that sex and cause her into a hypertensive fit). I laughed while Sir Lito was talking to Wendell because---
A forgettable essay, sweetheart Sir Anthony Tan had said that summer, but it sure was fun watching and listening to the discussion of the lack or kind of sex they had with their ex’s. Sir Ernie Yee had exclaimed during the workshop, Can’t you people see the pain underneath it all?! Mga wala kasi kayong ex! And the panel finally asked, Who wrote this anyway? Sir Ernie laughed, That girl laughing over there! Yeah, I’m Sir Ernie’s favorite and I really did ask him to please marry me and his answer was Buwang! which I’m still hoping means “Maybe”.
A female fellow had said “I feel like I was taken for a ride” and in my head I was curtsying to her. While another female fellow was quietly trilling “Intelligent? This is not Art!” about it to other fellows, who was later almost hysterical in her apologetic text messages about offending me. It first made chilling-drinking-me laugh Huh? Why the hell would I be offended? then made scary-will-eat-you-alive-they-say-me shake my head. Ah, the writer’s I-hate-you-for-criticizing-my-text-therefore-me-hu-hu-kill mentality. I did comfort her with something nicer than Art?! Geez, I’m not going to die or kill over someone’s critique, after all I do not have ye Poet’s uber sensitive temperament which saved me from more allergic conversations about what is Art.
----Wendell said to Sir Lito something like Huli ka na’Day sa balita! I already knew how naughty she can get a long time ago! I didn’t know which “naughty” he was referring to. Maybe it was his asking (as my professor) in 1996 if I had watched the Oblation Run. A freshman, I had answered, Watch running penises? What for? Seen one, seen them all, and I don’t want a sty to grown on my eye Sir.
I also saw Sir Mac Tiu again who had given me tips on the beat of humor in texts that summer. I had hugged him and told him that Lady Boy (whose storyline he and I discussed together with Sir Ernie and Sillyman-Misha who became snappy at the term probinsiyanong bakla) was officially published as of the previous day in the PSF3 book launch. Sir Mac was not a fan of Speculative Fiction but he laughed and clapped his hands. After all, the prime directive of the workshop is: PRODUCE IT, PUBLISH IT, PUT IT IN CRITICAL DICOURSE. Dr. Evasco later said to me I know you didn’t go to Ateneo de Davao so how do you know Mac? And I answered, (In Dumadengue, este) Dumaguete po Ma’am.
As I was about to sit down, I saw F. Sionil Jose---looked at his cane and beret, giggled in my head mukhang Literati Poster si Sir ah---- and wondered what he was thinking about as he sat there and if he ever thought of whacking what exasperates him with both. I did not exercise that audacity to ask him, which I kind of regret, but I really didn’t want to risk being whacked in my teapot dress with a beret or cane.
And like any geek from the ‘90s, I sat, listened and took down notes on the publishing kapow:
Evil Notes on the Fifth Literary Session of the 50th PEN Conference:
“Books, Authors, Readers”
Scope:
Publication/ Money/ Rights; Writing run as business; Distribution of something worthwhile to mankind; Cultural role of books; Books as something fixed and an authority.
Inquiry:
“Can Publishing Houses Shape Literary Taste?”
Katrina Bolasco said:
2. Curriculum is anti-reading; they use literary pieces that are not for reading-enjoyment.
3. The pieces are not prize-winning pieces; written by textbook-makers.
4. No appropriate works for grade school; cannot locate the writers; cannot afford the publishing rights.
5. No common body of books read as standards (which are known by all Filipino children).
6. “Who has the call to choose a Philippine Canon?” (Changing the literary canon from Western into Philippine Literature.)
7. We need book agents.
Maricor Baytion of the Ateneo Press said:
2. To spread love of reading.
3. To preserve/publish the best in our national heritage
4. Consulted authors/authority to get their choices for which would be published.
5. List of publishable novels are compiled and of which are deemed as “classic” works.
6. They are doing these for the sake of posterity and for the future generations.
Jocelyn Calubayan of the UST Press said:
1. Publication of scholarly books, faculty research, educational texts.
2. They aim to publish 400 books for 400 years on the institution’s 400th year.
3. Promote “Tradition” in the Filipino consciousness.
4. There are 2-3 manuscripts submitted every week and as of that time there were 50 for evaluation.
5. They are open to submissions from graduates of other universities.
6. Evaluation is based on marketability, subject matter, and academic review.
Ma. Lourdes Camagay of UP Press said:
1. Most of the books published are in English and on Humanities and Social Sciences. 2. Literary texts are not as thick as Social Science texts; less thick volumes are easier to review; and the editorial board suggests who gets to evaluate the manuscripts.
3. There are about 40 General Education books published every year.
4. They aggressively solicit manuscripts from writers.
5. Scholarly works most published are in the fields of History and Literature.
6. They also conduct seminars on how to re-package thesis dissertations into a book. 7. But of course they will have first crack on any produced manuscript.
Antonio Hidalgo of Milflores looks at publishing as a science:
1. Characteristic of the market: trade books.
2. Survey of Filipino Readership (as of 2003 and 2007):
3. 68-80% read non-school books
4. 51-58% pay 200 pesos or less for a book (the amount the reading public can afford)5. 87-91% read for knowledge
6. 9-13% read for enjoyment
7. Filipino is the lingua franca
8. Young readers dominate the market
9. The packaging and blurb of a book contributes a lot to its sales
10. The postcolonial situation divides the elite and the masses. However, both go for non-fiction.
11. The situation calls for content vs. what is being produced: the focus is on popular topics like anthologies, humorous texts or romance novels.
12. Demand for information books written in readable style.
13. Creative Nonfiction appeals more to readers.
14. Write in humorous tone because critical discourses can be understood more if they are presented in a humorous tone.
15. Lower prices of books
16. The segments that would sell: gay, singles, and cock fighters.
17. Identify gaps in marketing/society which you can publish like texts about malls, the prostituted abroad, etc.
Marites Vitug of Newsbreak (online) said:
1. The wonders of online publishing are:
2. the SPEED by which you can publish something;
3. you would reach a wider AUDIENCE;
4. it doesn't really COST a lot;
5. and there's a lot of SPACE for additional information.
6. Internet complements print: the younger ones read them online, the older ones read them on print.
At the end of that session, I had concluded that it’s a FACT that in this country you are only “PUBLISHED” if it’s on PAPER or in a BOOK.
But then again there was a person named Aurora in the audience who said that online will take over print.
I agreed.
But Antonio Hidalgo said that they had published this book from blog entries and nobody knew these texts or the author existed until it was published on print. Print dominates.
I agreed.
And Marites Vitug said that only 15% of the Philippines is wired i.e. have access to the Internet.
I agreed.
It’s a symbiotic loop, if you really think about it.
As to why I like writing online---
Ripped off “Twimeow”
Bella Mouse says: …You have whiskers… Fur… Claws… Fangs… And---
Edward Cat: SAY IT!
Bella Mouse: ----SPIKY PENIS! Hihihihi.
30 and still naughty
Why do you think cats are so noisy when having sex?
By the way, True Blood series Sookie is not stacked (like in the books i.e. Dead supernatural cast series of Charlaine Harris), Bill is ugly (that grows on you by the 13th episode), the sex life of Jason and the nudity is OMG-Bwahahahaha, and hallelujah to Lafayette and all the potty mouths!
Joey said, “Anna Paquin never got her teeth fixed?”
I laughed, “It’s a Madonna-Kirsten Dunst thing. Imagine them wearing braces.”
Ah, texts/books being morphed into movies/series.
There’s an academic treatise somewhere in 2002 regarding literature: life actually being influenced/following television/movie themes/motifs.
Ah, the Pirates of Quiapo.
Hey, a story!
Ah, Internet.
Yeah, this.
Ah, publication.
Yeah, that.
A book published by the above presses with SPIKY PENIS as its title/content and distributed by National Book Store?
Evil. You wish.
As a text?
Not happening.
As a textbook?
Especially not happening.
Really?
Keep on wishing.
Santa Baby! I want my Merry, Merry X!
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