1, of Dreams

Today the note “La” woke up and said that it had the strangest dream---

What has been dead had returned and I had welcomed it home.

The note “La” does not know what to think, gives me a hug.

I say--- It is the first day of September and the countdown is leaking.

Cheers.

Last night there was a vigil for hair.

And somewhere was a vigil for a mother who’s been dead for five days.

And somewhere was a vigil for a wife who’s been dead for 10 months.

And somewhere was a vigil for a father who’s been dead for 2 years.

The vigils await my return.

The womb is still in pain from their grief, waiting to bleed it all out.

Cheers.

Last night there was a vigil for hair that has kept memories.

Cut and cut and cut, a bottle of light for each cut.

And I circled the house the way I had the night I first died.

And Mother was following me around just like that night.

I say “I’m fine” just like that night.

I say “I accept that I will be alone” last night.

Cheers.

Circles and sips of memories calling the Devil.

The Devil had come and watched me.

I said “What a twisted way to be reminded to say hello…Hello.”

The Devil said “It’s because you kissed me (t)here…Hello.”

I laughed “It was the other way around.”

The Devil said “Liar.”

I laughed “I’m not the lawyer here. I only speak the truth.”

And the dwarf from Moulin Rouge then was singing, with elephants.

I thought “I want to toke the joke.”

Cheers.

I said to Mother and Child “The money has to go somewhere. See I don’t have plans.”

I will work and work and work.

I will spend and spend and spend.

Never on myself except perhaps on the nails cut and the hair cut and the skin cut.

The Child said “What about life plans?”

I said “Not now. Too soon. Not now.”

The Child said “You are Father’s youngest now.”

I said “And you he loves the most. Now your children.”

Cheers.

The Devil had the same dream for two nights not so long ago.

The Devil said “What are you doing in my dreams?”

It is not a good place for you, get out, for both times you did not make it.

I said “When it is time, my time, you do know that you have to let me go?”

The Devil said that it knows.

Cheers.

The Dolphin had a dream not so long ago.

It said “We were on a pick-up. He was there. He left a finger mark on your back. I was wiping it in the rain.”

Then another dream of another ‘he’ “We were drinking, laughing, talking.”

Triangles.

Cheers.

The Sign “D” had a dream not so long ago.

It said “Don’t freak out but the other night I dreamt that you were married.”

I said “The fuck is it with you folks and the universe that you all have been dreaming?”

Cheers.

I said to the Child “You were always meant to stay here.”

The Child said “The City scares me.”

I said “I told Mother that I would have been content to stay here but who I am, what I am, is meant for the outside.”

I heard the children and smiled.

I saw the children and laughed.

I said to the Child “Your children saved you.”

Cheers.

The Warrior had a dream that began a long time ago.

It has begun to come true.

The Warrior said “Cheers. No more cryptic messages please. I don’t want to spend what little energy I have deciphering them.”

Cheers.

Last night and today awake the scales say that it had a dream.

It said “How then can you trust another ‘I love you’ again?”

There was an old woman with the touch who said to Mother while she had her finger deep in my navel “If she will bear a child then the man has to be of the same blood.”

Mother said “Same blood type?”

I said “No, Mother, blood of this land.”

It was just a dream.

I wake up humming Grace.

And cheers.