FRIDAY RECONSTRUCTING

GLEN DUNCAN’S DECONSTRUCTION OF PONTIUS PILATE’S INFAMOUS DICTUM …poised ambivalence …the lonely pregnancy of the pause, its shadowy implications: what I have written is not what I wanted to write. what I have written is the truth. what I have written is what I shall be judged by. what I have written seemed to write itself. what I have written was not for me to write…

TEXT MESSAGE FROM LETTER A: I’m here drinkin…in ur spot upstairs…reminiscin…L… passed away ystrday…hanged himself

SKY

ABORTING RECONSTRUCTION

FREEZE HANGING

HATRED

I laugh: HOLY FUCKING

PAIN

SPIRALLING

FUTILITY

REACHING

FRENZY

FREEZE

TEXT MESSAGE FROM JOEL TOLEDO:…you can come at 5:30...

TEXT MESSAGE FROM ELENA:…I heard you’re going to watch Amihan?

TEXT MESSAGES:…where are you…meetings…consultations…come…need you…

LOCKDOWN

MEMORY: 1999-2000 SPECIAL TOPICS STUDIES: DEATH IS NOT EXPERIENCED BY THE DEAD BUT BY THE LEFT LIVING

I unfreeze, reply to A, “…When it’s time, it’s time, no matter how. Why will never be answered…Need me to come?”

TEXT MESSAGE FROM LETTER A:….ur sched?

I reply, “Tight but can be cleared…”

TEXT MESSAGE FROM LETTER A:…It will…you…Don’t… Call you later.

FROZEN

DISPLACE

REPLY TO JOEL AND ELENA: Sorry…Not feeling well…

DISPLACE

Text argumentation with Adam David about hasty BIRD-OSTRICH-BRAIN generalization and slop for logic which my PINKY-AND-THE-BRAIN just can’t take and ended with saying I Love You Ashu Hahahaha.

Door opens, sees me pale, “What’s wrong?”

I quietly say, “L is dead. You don’t know him.”

LOSS

“I’m sorry, Beh.”

ANGER

I say, “The bastard hanged himself.”

“Oh.”

DISPLACE

I shake my head, “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

I stand up, take a shower, go to my bedroom, lie down, still, a hug LOCK

FRENZY

DISPLACE

GRIEF

RESUME

RECONSTRUCTION

7 DAYS

LIMIT