SATURDAY SKY

I shake my head, “I need my vacuum.”

“I’ll drop you off then I run my errands and come back.”

I nod

MOVING

I climb four flights

I open the door and say, “All right, let me hear how the Black Hole emits blue light.”

I marvel, “That’s it… The Black Hole smiles…”

(Text messages: She’s here)

REPORTING TIME

I hide L.

CELEBRATE

I ask, “I can open my birthday gift?”

Laughter, “Of course!”

I quip, “Well, I don’t want you to say that I fail the Marshmallow Test and have a very low EQ.”

More laughter.

“Darling, who did the cover of your journal?”

I answer, “Pancho Villanueva.”

“…may installation…Galing ah.”

ENTER TASK AS SPEAKER FOR THE DYING :

1 wants to be cremated, a 1-3-night-wake, dressed in white long-sleeves and jeans, no make-up like in life, first night beer, second night scotch, third night all, no crying and death cannot be talked about unless the half of this 1 wants to---

I clarify, “And family?”

---family will not be allowed entry

---the I is told, “---You will enforce this. Even at gunpoint.”

I nod.

I say, “This quote has been in my head for five years. Though I don’t remember where I got it. Probably from I, Lucifer.

Most obviously, there’s the immediate suffering of the children, followed by shame, the guilt, the self-disgust, the not being believed, the hatred…Then there’s the suffering of the parents, the horror of being AFRAID of their own sullied child. The shame of having suspected and done nothing. The shame of having known and done nothing.

Hence, Denial.”

I get a kiss and a hug, “Thank you.”

DISPLACE

GOING HOME

“Beh, look what I have for you.”

It’s my four-year-old favorite cargo pants ripped to its frays somewhere in Singapore last March, my pink-hearts-covered-tush exposed walking until Magpie and Egg said, “Ohmygod Maus! Your pants!” and I had shrieked, “Ohmygod did Singapore see my hearty ass?!”

I squeal, “Beh! You got it fixed? Wow! Wizard!”

Hug and kiss, “Impossible things can be mended.”

RESUME

RECONSTRUCTION