Recorded: Space Launch Of The Rainbow Speculative Robot

Recorder:

Upon seeing the book cover/back in the Interweb, Recorder sent missive to Dean Alfar:

SO MAD AT MYSELF BECAUSE DEFINITELY WANT TO BE IN A BOOK WITH THAT COVER! SO CUTE! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Recorder:

Hehe, rejected but hey!

ALL HAIL THE RAINBOW ROBOT ROLLING OVER THE PHILIPPINES…

STATIONARY IN THE VISAYAS.

The book cover and design is from the wicked wacky whacko Paolo Dizon whom Recorder solemnly swears can be FLO-RIDA in that song low, low, low…

ALL HAIL VIDEOKE WITH RED HORSE BEER.

Recorder:

The Philippine Speculative Fiction Volume 4 launch on the last day of February 2009 in the Full Of Books Building in Bonnieface High Street, Manilakati, Philippines:

ACCORDING TO TABLE OF CONTENTS

SPEECHES THERE

IMPRESSIONS HERE

BOOK CRITIQUE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Andrew Drilon and his THE SECRET ORIGIN OF SPIN-MAN

Said, “This story is for my twin brother in Med School who’s not here now…So, yeah, he looks like me…”

Recorder:

Hahaha-ah-hah! What if…?

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Applying new tone… New Historicism… Long paragraphs...

Recorder:

Andrew Drilon has been present from Volume 1 to 4 so I quote Favorite Invisible Band Los Chupacabras “Animal Kang Bata Kaaaaaaaa! Animaaaaaaaal!”

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Andrilon: You won the Speculative Loyalty Award! Sincerely, Award Recorder.

P.S.

You’re more than a chicken, wink-wink.

Leo Magno and his PRESS RELEASE

Absent in Manilakati but Present in Baguio though Quasi-Present in Space Launch via Alex his friend i.e. Proxy Guy.

Proxy Guy said, “…Thank you to the awards…”

Recorder:

Hehehehe.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Definitely shows his journalism background… HELLO GARCI AND OTHER CHUVAROO IN PRESENT SHOWWBIZ GOVERNMENT VIA THE SPECULATIVE STYLE…

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Magno: I like how the variations in the text will hopefully keep the eye read through the deconstruction of lying in the malabo-fact-writing-truth-business. Sincerely, Not Liking That One Long Dialogue Block Recorder.

Noel Tio and his REVENGE OF THE TIKTAKS

Absent in Manilakati but Present in Cebu though Quasi-Present in Space Launch via Alex, Leo Magno’s friend and Proxy Guy.

Proxy Guy was game and said, “I don’t know him but…”

Recorder:

Keri!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Very virginal indeed. I like the Cebuano Texture. And then… Sorry Dudong, Tiktak is making me think of Tic Tac the candy and the tik-tak-ing is making Diday want to tak-tak-delete-it-Bai-bye.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Tio: You are now immortalized as The Virgin Who Lost Virginity Via Rule #6: Good Stories Trump Literary Credentials Anytime. May I suggest that you keep fucking texts some more to lose the virginity? Sincerely, Fucked Recorder.

Maryanne Moll and her BREATHING SPACE

Dean Alfar asked, “What is hagkus?”

Recorder answered, “I have no idea.”

Dean Alfar gave Recorder an evil playful look that said, “Bikolana ka tapos di mo alam?!”

Recorder:

That’s the effect of being inculcated with English from Nursery to Present. Can I call a friend? Hoy Cordero and Chancoco! Ano daa mga padi ang hagkus? Never mind, I’m sure the author will explain it.

Recorder:

Ms. Moll said something like Speculative Fiction pulled her out from her “darkness…” (Whatever and wherever that was, not elaborated.)

Ms. Moll also kindly explained what hagkus meant, which is that katcha or cloth used to bind(?) women(’s wombs?) who just gave birth.

Recorder:

Ah, that’s why I don’t know that. Those things were not mentioned around young ears then.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

ALERT! ALERT! WHAT IS SPECULATIVE FICTION HERE?

Send Recorder Alert:

Dear Ms. Moll: Your text’s presence under the umbrella will likely be that dynamite for the whole incinerating necessity to defin(e)d “Speculative” in Philippine Speculative Fiction. Brace for the burning. Sincerely, Fire/Extinguisher Recorder.

Vincent Michael Simbulan and his MANG MARCING AND THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE.

Vinny The Care Bear applied what he would teach his students in this story he‘s been working on for some time: he said that in writing, when you’re not doing well, you push yourself to do better.

Recorder:

TADA! THE APOCALYPSE HATH COMETH!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Despite the trademark epic fantasy language beginning, and ala Gaiman personification technique, it made scanning stop and read through everything…Running for favoritism…

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Vinny The Care Bear: It has that Filipino heart rare in speculative texts. Sincerely, Alien Care Bear Recorder.

Crystal Gail Shangkuan Koo and her ROOFTOPS OF MANILA

Ken The Genre Doll Kyu was “Upset!”

Not seriously--- because it was not mentioned in the introduction that she was first published in The Digest Of Philippine Genre Stories.

Ms. Koo thanked Mr. Kyu.

Ms. Koo said, “Means a lot (for this story to be published)…2-3 years in the making… (Somewhere in between was a story that won a Palanca)…It finally found a home in PSF4.”

Recorder:

Award! And Award again for your barangay that can rival my barangay!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Long… What’s the significance of the time subheadings?

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Koo: I’m not really a social prickly asshole but when I ask someone “why” in relation to whatever, it always surprises people and it comes out as very social prickly asshole. It’s an acquired taste and I blame it on being friends with a lot of sensible criminals and crazy lawyers. Sincerely, Miss Congeniality Recorder

Monique Francisco and her THE DAY THAT FRANCES, THE COPYWRITER, BECAME GOD.

Recorder:

And came in late but just in time.

Ms. Francisco said, “Hi, I’m Mo, I don’t know if he’s tricking me.”

He being MC Dean and the come-on-down-and-have-your-fun-say!

Carljoe Javier heckled, “It’s a ploy! Get out while you can!”

Recorder:

Hahahahaha!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Giveaway title. And why not Goddess? Is this Female Bruce Almighty In The Advertising Business?

Recorder Trivia:

There was a movie from the ‘70s (I think or maybe from the early 80’s because I watched it sometime between 1984-986) entitled THINK GOD! In the movie, it became a massive slogan.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Mo: Kulang sa kabaklaan ang Fantasy Advertising God mo. Sincerely, Chuvaness Recorder.

P.S.

Methinks people die from neglect because of ignorance, not innocence. Hey, did y’all know that the word gullible is not in the dictionary? Yeah, GOD IS A COPYWRITER SO THE END IS NIGH! I’M CONVINCED MY NAME IS NICOLE! LONG LIVE THE GULLIVERANT!

Charles Tan and his A RETROSPECTIVE ON DISEASES FOR SALE

And Recorder said, “I’m upset!”

Not really--- because it was not mentioned in the introduction that he’s the Golden Evil Editor of Philippine Speculative Fiction Sampler.

And Charles Tan said that he was first published by Digest of Philippine Genre Stories.

Nikki Alfar laughed, “By Volume 6, we’re one long ad for PGS!”

Recorder:

Hahahahaha!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

The voice doesn’t sound piping-young anymore, except when !…

But can light cigarette with the dryness of humor…

It’s like one of those academic papers of…

Douglas Candano!

Recorder:

Retrospective nga kasi eh, ano ba!

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Charles My Lovemunchkin: You have the softest kiss… I’m quivering for our S&M moment. Sincerely, Your Mummy Wants To Squish You Recorder.

Celestine Trinidad and her SKY BLUE

Said, “I don’t know what to say…”

Recorder:

But she’s happy.

And controversial.

Because she made the truth of “all unpublished collection” a lie for she submitted this story somewhere else and was therefore already published by---

Dean sniffed, “Sarge printed it.”

That is, Angelo “Sarge” Lacuesta of The Philippines Free Press.

Recorder suggested, “Kill Sarge!”

Ms. Trinidad said something like, “I didn’t know that it was coming out!”

Recorder suggested, “Kill Sarge!”

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Have to get over the blah title first.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Trinidad: Yeah, I have to get over the blah first. Thank You. Mabuhay sana ang kabaklaan sa ‘yo! Sincerely, Choice Is A Virtue Recorder

P.S.

Dear Sarge: Biro lang!

Dear The Literary Philippines Free Press: Is it possible for contributors to be informed when their confirmed-to-be-published-texts would be published?

Jose Elvin Bueno and his ALL WE NEED IS FIVE MEALS A DAY

Recorder proudly declared, “Bikolano yan! Yehey!”

Recorder:

Mr. Bueno was introduced as “Jose is a probinsyano who speaks fast and writes slowly” and Absent in Manilakati but Present in New York Advertising and his award was accepted by Maryanne Moll who declared, “He speaks fast: that’s not a Bicolano trait.”

Recorder:

THAT MADE THE KAPRE’S EYEBROWS LAUGH.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Besides being reminded of the title THE FAMILY THAT EATS SOIL BY BOING-BOING KHAVN DE LA CRUZ TRANSLATED BY MAYO UNO IN PSF1... Very interesting… Liking the pacing… Running for favoritism…

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Bueno: Thank you for buying and reading the PSF anthologies, and for your ra-ra-go-go-ju-ju-yeah-yeah-mabuhay-ka! Sincerely, Being Decolonized And Machine Gun Bicolana Mouth Recorder

P.S. I hate you! I wanted to tell that story!

Apol Lejano-Massebieau and her THE SEWING PROJECT

Is in France.

Recorder:

Hehehe, inapi eh! Yeah, apihin na kita bago ka maapi some more ni Adam David:

WOE TO THE HOW QUAINT NAMAN THE TITLE AND TEA WITH HOPIA!

Send Recorder Missive Via Edwina Salang Program:

Cher Madame: Kyu a recu le prix pour vous et il a dit qu’il n’a pas su ce qu’il pourrait dire. Merci pour les poules!

Recorder:

Dear Madame: I still can’t speak simulating cold and hacking cotton balls. Sincerely, Binaklang Baklese (and no longer Swardspeak according to The Naked Dude Academe, source creature: Carljoe Javier) Running Around Like Winnnie The Poohta Without Salong-Suso Recorder.

Joseph Nacino and his DREAMS OF THE IRON GIANT

Said, “I would like to thank Dean and PSF for inspiring me to write; Kyu; and (mumble mumble) my editor.”

Dean said, “If you think I’m harsh and she’s (your editor) harsh---” and then pointed to Nikki Alfar.

Nikki Alfar laughed, “At least I don’t use cliché or clutter.”

Recorder:

Hahahaha! Yeah… But according to *Achtung Dog Hotline*, Nikki holds the title of Grammar-Nazi.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Why is there a subheading ending and an author’s note?

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Nacino: You have also won the Speculative Loyalty Award! Sincerely, Proudly Allergic To Cliché And Clutter Recorder

Rochita Loenen-Ruiz and her BREAKING THE SPELL

Is absent, present in (didn’t catch where), represented by Loving Sister.

Loving Sister was just told to pick up a package or something and tada, “…This is really a recognition of her efforts…Thank you…”

Recorder:

Parang yun Nanay ni Rodello Santos last year ah!

Recorder Memory:

Rodello Santos’s Mom had also given a speech in behalf of her son. She, apparently, had no idea that her son wrote. Her son, who was in New York, had only given her a piece of paper, telling her to go to Fully Booked in Taguig, look for Dean Alfar and pick up two books. We all laughed, “Bukingan na!”

Recorder:

Pero mas winner favorite si Mommy Arcega last year!

Recorder Memory:

M.R.R. Arcega’s Mom had given a speech in behalf of her. She said mas maganda and mas magaling raw siya sa anak niya…

Recorder:

Oh ‘di va!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Nyak to some of the subheadings…I can see why she’s published internationally… Running for favoritism…

Dear Mrs. Ruiz: Hail to The Isle Of Lesbos Vibe! Sincerely, Lesbos Loving Recorder

Isabel Yap and her THE DANCE OF THE STORM

Still 18 years old.

Said, “Quilling is twirling paper.”

Recorder:

Ah. And here I thought Quilling Is The Art Of Running After And Plucking Birds Off Their Feathers To Use For Quills, Hats, and Tessa-Prieto-Valdes-Hairdos.

Nikki Alfar said, “Ah Kenneth Yu we found her first!”

Recorder:

Found first by Kyu via PGS now in PSF4: Crystal Koo, Charles Tan, Sharmaine Galve, Erica Gonzales, Celestine Trinidad.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Commas, short sentences.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms Yap: I can see a future with longer sentences intertwined with alabaster, gossamer, and other pretty words. Sincerely, Slingshot The Naked Dude Sensibility At The Jesuit Romanticism Recorder.

P.S.

I hope you take a class under Martin Villanueva, hehe.

Carljoe Javier and his DINO’S AWESOME ADVENTURE

Recorder:

Dude we love your (Space Invaders) shirt!

Said, “The first time I submitted a story for PSF, it was too short…

Ergo, rejected.

Said, “Then it was too long…”

Ergo, rejected.

Said, “This time I was writing while looking at the word count…”

Recorder:

Hahahahahaha!

Said, “Thank you (Dean and Nikki) for providing space for stories like these in bookshelves…publishing…”

Recorder:

Dude, awww…Sweet!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Hehehe…Back To the Future Of Mr. Bogus Journey Party On Excellent…

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Carldude: You make me laugh. Thank you for being my first editor an eternity ago. Sincerely, Your Scary Bitchy Recorder

P.S.

You were an awesome bitch of a bastard editor.

Kenneth Yu and his BEATS

Said, “First of all---Carljoe, where did you get your shirt?”

Recorder:

Hahahahaha!

Said, “I want people to love reading…”

Then, “I wouldn’t have put up Philippine Genre Stories if I haven’t met Dean…”

And said (to Dean), “I put it out and I find out you exist…”

Recorder:

Hahahahaha! Wait…Ang labo nun ah.

Said, “Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Alfar.”

Recorder:

Hehehehe, that sounds so dignified and… weird, hehehehe.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Black-Eyed Peas is in my head with “Dat beat, dat beat, dat beat“…Long sentences…Long paragraphs…Waxing and waning lyrical…Big words here and there…Then short paragraphs… Short sentences…What’s going to jump out… Abangan.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Kyu The Brave: Thank you for publishing Blink, Wake Up. Sincerely, Philippine Genre Stories Alumna Recorder.

P.S.

I was “found” first by Angelo “Sarge” Lacuesta, then rejected by Vinny The Care Bear, and accepted by “What?! Sarge is publishing you first?!” Dean Alfar, hehehe, thanks to the Story Dreaming Of Iron Giant Agent Editor.

Anne Lagamayo and her HOPSCOTCH

Recorder:

19 years old, not here, accepting the award is Kyu…NOT.

Anne comes in, “Ohmygod, Ohmygod… This is really great…Everyone should buy…(Only two copies per contributor?)More copies!”

Recorder:

Hahahaha! The equation with “more free copies” = number in an inverted calculator spells LOGIBOSS.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Wince here and there…Have a problem with the omniscient narrator slipping in and out of everyone’s heads…Short.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Lagamayo: Ra!Ra!Ra!Write!Write!Write! Sincerely, Trying Positive Reinforcement Recorder

Paolo Jose Cruz and his FIRST OF THE GANGS TO DIE

Recorder:

Very enthusiastic.

Said, “…Spaces like this…”

Awesome!

Said, “…Filipino time…One hour late…”

Recorder Alert:

In Values Education since 1992, “Filipino Time” is supposed to mean on time and not an hour late.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

…Die…Funeral…Story’s over.

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Cruz: The story began with being conscious that it’s telling a story and ended with tautology. Sincerely ,Your Dear Meanie Reader Recorder

Erica Gonzales and her HAYA MAKES A HUG

The “Spec Fic Doctor” thanked Kyu, Celestine Trinidad, and her relatives.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

It’s like Douglas Candano Style In A Different Voice!

Uy!

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Dr. Gonzales: Huuuuuuuuug! Sincerely, Freak Hugger When In The Mood Recorder

Sharmaine Galve and her THE PARANOID STYLE

Said, “I really worked hard because I got rejected by the past three times…”

Recorder:

Rejection pays!

Recorder Scan Impressions:

Title wince, first line wince, subheadings, then wince here and there, and in my head (+)Francis Magalona‘s MGA PRANING MGA PRANING MGA PRA-NING-NING… Interesting twisting… Something is surfing up to popping out favoritism…

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Galve: In behalf of the DSM-IV Association and Diseases For Sale Incorporated, thank you. Sincerely, Benign Positional Paroxysmal Vertiginous Post Traumatic Stress Recorder

Kate Aton-Osias and her THE MAIDEN’S SONG

Laughed like a rock star, “I love you too!”

Said, “I wrote this when I was 12! Sino ba ang 16 dun?!”

Recorder:

Hahahaha! There was 18, 19, Older, The Youngest Was From Last Year.

Said, “…Wrote this from my darkness…Pregnancy…Heh! Spec fic muna!”

Recorder Scan Impressions:

First line…Is this about Pedro… Diego’s Homecoming To… Last line… Just Another Love Story?

Dear Mrs. Osias: Eto po nangyayari when I do my thing outside Happy Monday Hullabaloo, hehe. Sincerely, PMS Had To Try It Recorder

P.S.

Hehehe, Peasu to Api Madame Massebieau! When you come home for a visit, let’s meet and greet and drink rum or gin with that cha-a and hopia, mani, popcorn at Viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks!

Eliza Victoria and her PARALLEL

Said, “Oh! Hi!”

Recorder:

YEAH, WE’RE HERE, HI DIN!

Said, “I’m so happy to be in a room full of writers, published writers!”

Recorder:

WARNING: HAPPY IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

Happy Eliza said something like, “I even forgot that I sent a story for PSF…Then, ay nagsend pala ko! I must be hallucinating!”

Recorder:

SEE, THIS IS A FIGMENT OF YOUR HALLUCINATION.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

First line: Christopher had officially run out of words to describe the day… So the narrator did it for him?

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Ms. Victoria: This day is called The Day Happy Monday Went To Happy Saturday. Sincerely, The 30^th Day Of February Recorder

Ronald Cruz and his A LEAGUE OF CHAMPIONS

Nikki Alfar laughed, “This story was so fun!”

Author laughed, “I had fun writing it!”

Recorder:

Have fun writing and you get published!

Author said, “This story is about…”

Recorder:

Nakup! Like the Blue Eagle Virus Poems in Happy Mondays that begin with This poem is (about)…

Kyu clucked a sigh, “Don’t explain your story…”

Recorder:

Sshhh!Shhhh!

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. Cruz: I hope it will be fun but it will take a while before I read it. Sincerely, Displacing Spoiler Recorder

Adam David and his FROM “ABECEDIARYA”

Recorder:

Dude! Your japorms looks like Carldude’s!

Recorder:

Rubber shoes, socks, shorts that is too long for shorts but short for pants, game shirt.

Carldude said, “The YBB (Youth and Beauty Brigade) represent!”

Recorder:

Hahahaha!

Said, “Salamat sa inyo. Mahiyain ako.”

Recorder:

Yun lang talaga sinabi niya. And yeah, he’s shy, he’s a sweetheart, he’s not a fictional character nor gay, and he gets the latter two all the time.

Recorder Scan Impressions:

It can be Weird, can be Gibberish, can be Something The Normal Should Read If Stoned Or High Or Drunk or Wahahaa!

Send Recorder Missive:

Dear Mr. David: Welcome To The Philippine Speculative Fiction Hopefully Not Dee Desmond Society! Sincerely, Kiss-My-Blogger-Quacking-IT-Recorder

The Rainbow Robot is a Space Blast! Take it! Take it! Mabuhay ang kabaklaan and order ala Pacquiao Lolit PHILIPPINE SPECULATIVE FICTION VOLUME via deanalfar@gmail.com!