31 W's

1.Wakey Baby

I woke up today at 5:30 am, wondering about the first person I wanted to talk to on this day. Who in the hell would be awakened by a call on Sunday 5:30? On this day, the people I wanted to talk to are...dead. And I could not reach anybody. I sat and waited for the sun--- the Catholic Crutch near us began blaring the Angelus--- the sun has risen. My brain has talked to the sky for the past 30 minutes.


2. Oh, right:

I do not have a phone. It was stolen almost a month ago and I haven't had the energy or time to find a replacement.(And for the past ten years, gizmo talk still fries my brain with all these buttons and functions.)And the brain is screaming every time it thinks about all those stolen unmemorized numbers. Hold on to the number and by next week, send me a message. Or call. Or drop your name, number, and bombs here.


3. It is good though, this vacuum.

It is so easy to (be) cut off (from) the world by being a Social Networking Neanderthal. Nowadays, people think it's the end of the world without Facebook or Internet connection. I've become more unreachable in my cave---without a phone--- more so when I became true to my name and went A-Sick-WOL a couple of weeks ago. It takes proficiency in the game of Hide-And-Sickened-By-The-World: I get to read, write, and sleep in peace.


4. ---You belong to the zoo, the hamster sings.

And I croak--- with your children, and your siblings, and your parents, too! The mouse is a very very very special mouse hatched by a very very very special family. It is our joke that almost made me cry last Friday--- the blues of the coming red. I think about the past ten years--- the wounds become winces becomes a tear that shrugs out a laugh.
More songs for me--- to you, fly, fly, fly, the butterfly, laughs the Egg.


5. Wishes---

Oh I like granting wishes--- I make them all come true. Me? What I wish for? Seriously? I'll make a list that spans 31 and all of them are impossible. Want me to say one? Okay, I want my dead cat back, how about that? Or how about I want the memory of watching him die lobotomized?


6. The Platform that is My Ass---

I had a chat with one of the most emotionally stunted numbers in the world.
The number said something like "The problem with you is that----"
(Decoded: The problem is I'm not like you.)
Perhaps I don't choose to rara and reach out the way you do because 1: You are already doing it and good job! 2: I have my ways and it involves my tentacles and my mouth that operates on six degrees of separation in boardrooms,classrooms, bars and brains. 3: I have a life. Do get one. I believe it's for free.
Stop with the snarky already.


7. On the term "Approval"

Hear ye, hear ye, the term "approval" in the context "seeking approval" now means the sub-text answer to the question "What do you think of (blank)?" Well, in my book the question simply wants to know what you think--- not seeking your approval.
If I wanted approval, I would be Miss Congeniality of the Universe, wouldn't I?


8. Lesson 31: SPOON-FEEDING is Writing AAA and Written AAA is Understood as AAA

To think/write AAA and AAA is thought/read AAA is good. BUT that also means that your text is singular in meaning. Oh c'mon, do a little more tango, samba, mambo or tinikling in your writing and thinking and we can do more negotiation in meaning! Because...There is no spoon!


9. Experiencing Inter-views

I do not like nor grant interviews about writing.
I do like conversations about writing--- only now and then, mind--- to serve certain purposes like Public Relations For World Domination.
Recently, there was an interview and my world-who-knows-I-don't-like-interviews went "Holyfuckingshit it's 2012! Why??????"
Hey, I liked the Kapre interviewer: he made me laugh.
But can we please strike the question CAN YOU TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR TEXT from questionnaires because Red Hot Chilli Peppers is screaming GIVEITAWAYGIVEITAWAYGIVEITAWAYNOW.
And really, it always brings back bad memories of authors and their Authorial Voice.

Now, what to do about this other interview that wants an Authorial Voice?


10. Intergalactic Fox

Because I'm Dr. Luuurv/Suuuux to some and then some, I found myself on my way to drunk one night in this bar and saying to the slam-bam-boys, "Start with ten light, then nine light and one hard, eight light and two hard...Until you reach ten hard." We are not talking about drinks. Try it.


11. Money Clip

By tomorrow, I will be officially without a wallet and identification cards for a month. Those were stolen, too. My money is clipped by a paperclip in a hand bag I now carry around with me all the time. So, here's the reaction whenever somebody sees me, "You're leaving already?!"


12. Into The Annals Of Funny

"Ma'am, is it okay if we correct the caller if s/he has wrong grammar?"
"Hahahahahahahaha! Sure, if you want to lose your job. (Ibang level na customer service ito!) Hahahahahahaha!"


13. Kissing The Dragon

When the Dragon comes, everybody hides and warns, "The Dragon's here..."
The Dragon is likened to a washing machine: after meeting with the dragon, everybody feels laundered and sighs, "Look how I'm so clean!"
When the Dragon is breathing fire, I laugh, approach the Dragon, hug it, kiss its forehead, and give it a cookie, "Here, sugar is supposed to make people happy."
Just the other day I stepped inside the Dragon's Den, munching on my take-out pasta, no-nonsense interrupts the meeting to hug and kiss the Dragon, making it laugh, asking it, "Want some?"
After, one of the new and newly laundered asked, "You're close, huh?"
I laughed, "No, I just get dragons."


14. Ah, Hell, Turned Off By The Fishy

The new that is curious about what the old say about the new blunders through.
I say, "Does it really matter what people say about you?"
No, no--- the new say--- but it is curious and it finds it entertaining.
I say, "Then why bother? My personal rule there is not to care."
No, no--- the new say--- it finds gossip about it entertaining.
I smile, "Oh don't you worry, someone will come to you soon and choo-choo."
Maybe you--- the new asks with a laugh-- C'mon, entertain me!
I laugh, "No and no thanks. I do enough entertaining and it's part of the job. People tell me things because I know how to shut up."
And here I am trying not to be more disgusted by people.
Hell, yeah, other people.


15. To Be In The Now Changes Now And Puts Markers In The Future To Look At the Past's Now

Father's 62 today. Father wishes we write him more letters, emails. Father responds to the letters via phone calls. I wrote Father a letter this morning and sent it to him. I tell him in the letter that for all my writing skills, writing letters has never been my forte. I give him news and tell him that I'm proud of him and that I love him.
I cannot seem to say "I love you" out loud anymore and mean it.
I'm afraid to. It makes me cry.


31. W's of What do you want to do?

I just want it all to be quiet.